Monday, March 22, 2010

Martha Graham, how did you know?

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open...No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

-Martha Graham

Amen Martha. Amen.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

In that place

where a person becomes a memory,
where memory becomes the truth,
and reality is just somewhere in between.

thoughts are like rainwater and my hands full of holes.

drop. drip.


judgment freezes action and
the world becomes too big. my arms too
and all I can do is cry,

"O Time, thou must untangle this, not I;
It is too hard a knot for me t' untie"

Monday, March 8, 2010


Yup. Me. Ya me. I'm 19. Its my birthday, for 5 more minutes! Weird huh? Life is going faster than I thought possible and I have a feeling it will keep speeding up.

Things that have changed and happened since a year ago (yes i know. i make lots of lists, so sue me!)...

I don't live at home

I'm in college

I am in the ATP

I can belt a B

I'm slightly less uncoordinated

I have several new friends

I have kept some great friends

I have kissed a transvestite on stage ;)

I care about fashion-to an extent

I have a greater understanding of people

I have grown to be more comfortable in my own skin

I learned the Smith's in Salt Lake has two levels

I have become a less judgmental person

I have learned what it means to listen and not be selfish

I have come to know myself better

I have auditioned more times than I can count

I had a job

I fell in love with Regina Spektor's music

I had two boys sleep in my room (that is, if they really count haha love you both)

I have set off a fire alarm

I have fallen. and gotten back up.

I died saving loved ones (all in the safety of 110)

I became addicted to facebook

I have gone from Grace Fryer to Rocky Whore

Public transportation has become my friend

I have learned the importance of not pushing (emotionally) on stage

I have questioned life

I have failed. gloriously

I have found the need for balance in life

I have learned to breath

I have cried. laughed. loved. I have lived!