Sunday, May 16, 2010

I'm through accepting limits

Ya. I know. It is super cheesy to put a line from a song from Wicked as the title of my post. Deal.

I realized that I have been limiting myself. I hold myself to other people's limitations of who I am. I become dependent on their opinions. I have been blessed with very supportive friends, but I have realized that I cannot rely upon their faith in me to sustain me. I need to know for myself what I can accomplish.

There have been many times when I have needed my friends, peers, and superiors to encourage me and approve of what I do. Who I am. For some reason I believed that if they said I could do it then I could. If they told me I was capable of something then I was. If they said I wasn't, then I wasn't.

I don't need that anymore. I can't need that if I am going to be successful. I know what I can accomplish and that is what matters. I have something unique and original to offer. I have the complete package. Someone else believing--or not believing--that I can make it is not going to change the reality of what I can do.

The profession (this crazy thing we call theatre) I have chosen is full of ups and downs. It is a complete contradiction with its necessity for confidence and its constantly critical circumstances. At times, I feel as if I am stuck on a roller-coaster of self-image. One day I can accomplish anything and the next I might as well give up.

I'm done. I'm done trying to make people see that I have potential. I am done trying to get people to believe in me. I am done trying to figure out if people approve of me. Done.

From now on my focus will be on my belief in myself. I must have my own independent, strong foundation. I will show love for myself by giving myself the time I deserve, that I am worthy of. Just because I may not be as talented as someone else right now does not mean I do not deserve to give myself the time to work on improving. I will do all that I can to take care of myself, to improve my talents, to work hard.

When I don't take care of my body or my mental health, I do not love myself. When I do not use my time wisely I am disrespecting myself and the time God has given me. The thoughts and energies I send out into the world will come back to me. If I tell myself that I am limited, then that will be the truth. I am only as great as my smallest doubts. I will not limit myself by sending out negative energy and giving myself negative reinforcement. I will believe in myself and the talents I possess.

This is my resolution to be the best me I can be. To live life. To be confident. To grow.

To love


Bradley said...

I was very inspired by your post. Thanks for sharing it Ana. You rock!! And go get 'em!!

Jaron said...

good post! despite the wicked thing..... almost made me not wanna be friends with you anymore.. jk ;)

Tanner Snow said...

I Love this Ana! Even if you did use a quote from Wicked as the title! haha :-) It is very beautifully written, as only you can. I tried blogging about this the other day. It made sense to me, but I'm sure not to anyone else! I love you! Keep up the good work!

Tanner Snow said...

Umm yeah, I said the wicked thing before I saw that Jaron did, sorry if it looks like I copied you! haha

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